Sanctuary
by alittleskinnydip
Summary: He waited, knowing very well that this was none of his business. That he should turn away like his parents do and pretend it doesn't happen. But how could he look the other way when it was Haru? How could he turn away and do nothing? [MakoHaru]
1. Change

_I had a little headcanon about why Makoto was so protective of Haru and it kind of spiraled into this. This is like the preface of the actual story. :x I plan to time skip to their current age in a chapter or two.. I think. Oh.. and I guess I should add warnings hm.._

_Strong themes ahead, read at own risk... even though it's not that bad yet. ~_~_

* * *

The neighborhood was normally quiet at this late of an hour. It wasn't unusual to hear the sound of the ocean waves carried by the wind to the narrow little street or the footsteps of a passerby. Makoto had always treasured the silence; leaving his window open had become a habit. He loved how the warmth from his covers balanced out with the cold from outside. He truly loved listening to the quiet night. And maybe a few months ago, Makoto would have been asleep already, peacefully wrapped in his blankets, but tonight... everything was different. Tonight, he stayed upright in his bed clutching onto his pillow with his cell phone in his right hand. Without even realizing it, Makoto formed a new habit for nights just like tonight that occurred far too often. His eyes drifted to the window, glancing towards Haruka's house where the lights were still on. And he waited, knowing very well that this was none of his business. That he should turn away like his parents do and pretend it doesn't happen. But how could he look the other way when it was Haru? How could he turn away and do nothing?

The sound of shattering glass made Makoto jump out of his skin. He felt his stomach sink immediately. It never used to be this bad. How did things get like this? His shaky fingers quickly typed out a text to Haru.

[are you okay?]

And he waited, like he always did for a reply he knew would probably never come. It really was late, past midnight, and they both had school in the morning. Haru has missed so much school this year already. There were certain days that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get Haru out the door. Haru would just end up getting angry and hiding in the water until he gave up. Makoto's legs bounced impatiently, the uneasy feeling in his chest wasn't going away. How many times has this happened already? How many restless nights did Makoto spend clutching his phone waiting for a response from Haru? And how many days followed where Haru said nothing.

_'That's just like him though...'_ Makoto thought. And it was the blunt truth, that Haru would never burden anybody else with his needs. If people will continue to look away, they will continue to enable that mindset that it was the right thing to keep everything locked up, and nothing would ever be done to change the course of this fate. The sound of shouting could now be heard if paid attention to. Makoto didn't want to look away. A blind eye never fixed anything. He didn't want to be like everybody else in this world. Not when it came to Haru. And it might have taken every ounce of courage he had, but Makoto forced himself to believe he could change things. That slipping out of his bed and tip toeing downstairs was the right thing to do. That sneaking out the backdoor, barefoot to avoid noise, was what needed to happen.

If the night was any colder, Makoto would be shivering, or maybe that was just the anxiety from taking another cautious slow step closer to Haru's home. The distance between their houses was short, it was less than a minute walk, and Makoto would compulsively count his steps knowing exactly how many it took to reach Haru.

_122... 123... 124..._

The door was right before him and Makoto suddenly realized that this was a very poorly thought out idea. Knocking on the front door would definitely bring him problems. Makoto shuddered at the thought. The truth of the matter still stuck, that this was none of Makoto's business. This wasn't his place. Any word he says would be overstepping his boundaries. He felt increasingly uneasy, and decided that it was a smarter idea to approach this another way. Say... through the backyard. He climbed over the short fence as quietly as possible, not even daring to take a breath until his feet touched the ground on the other side. The noise from inside continued, and Makoto sighed, approaching the open backyard. The light in Haru's room was still on. Makoto slid open his phone.

[how about a swim?]

Makoto waited, internally pleading for an answer or at least something that would cause his stomach to stop turning. The shouting was much louder standing in Haru's backyard than it was in his room across the street. If Makoto felt small before, he was absolutely tiny now. The world was big and there were so many things he couldn't understand like why people had to die or why two people's promising words suddenly meant nothing after so much time. Or why an innocent person that was never involved in the first place had to be caught up in someone else's mess. How much could a thirteen year old really do in a place that wasn't meant to be understood by someone so small? When the noise towered over his thoughts and his shoulders shook unwillingly, how could he actually fix anything?

The faint beeping of his phone snapped Makoto out of his thoughts, and he quickly clicked it on.

[sure]

* * *

"It's gotten worse, hasn't it..." Makoto murmured, uncertainly bringing up the subject that he's been long avoiding, but Haru had already jumped into the water. This weather was by far too cold to be swimming in, but this was one of those rare instances where Makoto didn't have the heart to say anything about it. Instead, he sat on the edge of the pool, allowing the water to reach just below his knees, watching Haru come to peace with the world.

"What was that?" Haru shouted back when he resurfaced. It seems like he's already forgotten about everything that wasn't the water. And that's just how Haru was, this water was his sanctuary, the place he felt at home. Makoto simply smiled and shook his head.

"Forget it."

_As if it were that simple._

"Come in the water, Makoto," Haru swam over to where Makoto's legs dangled in the water, "It's really nice."

"Ah, that's okay, I'd end up getting sick," Makoto quietly murmured under his breath. It was unusual for Makoto to sound so uncertain about anything. Haru noticed it immediately. He also noticed how badly he was shivering.

"Are you cold?"

Makoto snapped out of his thoughts, catching Haru's concerned eyes. No, Haru was supposed to be at peace here.

"Not at all, sorry!" Makoto quickly covered, "You know, I guess the water does feel kind of nice."

_For Haru's sake._

He carefully unbuttoned his shirt, willing his hands to stop shaking, and tossed it over near Haru's discarded clothing before letting his body slide into the water. It was much colder than Makoto anticipated, he winced as his body slowly adjusted. Haru held back a laugh watching the boy move around in agony.

"So you are cold," he added.

"Ah! N-No, just.. give me a minute," even his voice was shaky. Makoto would never understand how Haru could just dive in head first when it was this cold outside. That must be passion.. or love.. or something of the sorts. Haru swam out to the middle of the pool, letting the current carry his body in one fluid motion. Makoto could see the calm expression on his face when Haru let himself be enveloped by the water and he couldn't stop a thought from entering his head.

_Was Haruka really happy?_

Was this all it took for him to really forget everything that was happening? Or maybe... maybe it doesn't even bother him in the first place. Maybe this entire situation was completely over exaggerated.

"H-Haru-chan.." Makoto called out, bringing his eyes into focus, and failed to notice that Haru wasn't in the middle of the pool anymore. He got lost in thought again. Makoto spun around, eyes quickly dashing to the corners of the pool, Where did he go?

"Haru?!" he cried out again. No answer.

Not until...

"AH!" Makoto yelped when he suddenly felt two hands press to his back. He turned around and came face to face with the radiant blue eyes that only seemed to shimmer when in a place like this. Blue eyes that were barely an inch away from his own. Blue eyes that were filled with light.. when just a moment ago, they were dull.

"Why are you so scared?" Haru muttered, placing his hands on Makoto's shoulders and turning him around again.

"I'm n-not, you j-just surprised me," Makoto shivered. He held his breath when he felt Haru's arms wrap around his shoulders, and legs around his waist.

"What are you-"

"You're cold, right?" Haru interrupted. The warmth from Haruka's body spread across his skin as the arms around his shoulders held on tighter. He could feel the shivers subsiding little by little, yet Makoto stood still.

"Haru..."

"Mm?" Haru's head fell to rest on Makoto's shoulder.

"It's gotten worse... hasn't it?"

Makoto felt Haru flinch against him. Haru was still hiding, still keeping everything to himself like he was taught to do.

"It's fine." Haru murmured against Makoto's back, holding on tighter and sharing his warmth.

"It's not fine... I'm really worried," Makoto quietly admit. He bit his lip when Haru didn't respond. This was none of his business after all. He was crossing into territory that he didn't belong in. No matter how much he cared about Haru, no matter how much he wanted to help, it didn't matter in the end. It didn't matter when there was nothing he could do. Makoto was sure that Haru had realized this months ago, there had to be a reason. And Makoto kept telling himself that there also had to be a way.

A way to break down Haru's wall. A way to save him from all this.

"It's late..." Haru said suddenly as he unlatched himself from Makoto. All the heat that accumulated over the past few minutes immediately dissipated, Makoto began to shiver again.

"You want to go back?" he watched Haru's expression lock, just like it always did when he didn't want to answer.

"I guess."

It only took a few minutes for them to walk back to their little street. A quick and silent walk that left Makoto with the same uneasy feeling he started with. He set out to do something tonight, didn't he? What was accomplished exactly?

_Nothing._

He was supposed to change things. He was supposed to bring Haru to some place that was safe. But he did nothing. He clenched his fists upon the realization that tonight was just like every other night, he looked the other way, he was too scared to say what needed to be said, and things would repeat just like they alwa-

"Makoto..."

The green eyes looked up. They were stopped on the stairs between their homes and once again, Makoto held his breath, unsure of what to expect.

"...thank you."

* * *

_I am not confident at all. Oh god. Why am I writing this. ;/_


	2. Bruises

_Oh look I actually got around to this at 4:30am, why is that not a surprise~_

* * *

The classroom door opened suddenly, effectively silencing the whole room, and all eyes directed to face the unenthusiastic Haruka Nanase.

"Ah... Haruka, how kind of you to join us," the teacher taunted, he was never really fond of anybody interrupting class, "care to explain your tardiness?" Haru frowned, keeping his hands in his pockets as he shuffled over to his desk.

"Overslept..."

The teacher nodded accepting the lie that Makoto immediately saw through. Haru's seat was behind his own, so the eye contact the two made was brief, but it was enough. Enough to see how off put the boy was. Something bad happened this morning. Makoto was sure of at least that much. The constant worrying thought lingered as their teacher continued the lesson and the whispers among the students slowly ceased.

Makoto couldn't hear a word, his hands refusing to respond to the things being spoken. They wouldn't move, they wouldn't take notes, and they wouldn't stop shaking.

Did Haru get in trouble for leaving so late last night? Maybe he got caught sneaking back in. If that was the case... then it was his fault. His fault that Haru had to suffer more. His fault for whatever happened this morning. Wasn't he supposed to be fixing things? Wasn't that the point of last night? No, it wasn't... because even last night he just sat on the side lines and watched like a coward. Even when it was just them two alone, a scenario where Makoto could be open about everything, he didn't say or do anything. That was the reality of the situation. Makoto's tiny spirit against this faceless monster.

Something hit Makoto's arm, causing him to jump out of his treacherous thoughts. There on the desk beside his hand was a neatly folded up note. Makoto's fingers carefully reached for it, slipping it under his desk and unfolding it.

[stop worrying, I can see you shaking from here]

_Ah. Haru..._

Almost instantly, an immense weight felt lifted from Makoto's shoulders that he was unaware of to begin with. Maybe it was seeing the familiar handwriting that put him at ease, or hearing the words spoken with Haru's voice in his head. Maybe it was just the fact that something was actually said between the two instead of the silence leaving much to wonder about. The green eyes carefully eyed their teacher, back turned to the class writing on the board. He quickly scribbled back an answer.

[are you okay? why were you late?]

Makoto refolded the note and tossed it over his shoulder, hearing the paper make a soft tap when landing on Haru's desk. At least now his hands were able to stop shaking and he could take notes. Makoto wrote slowly, not truly taking in any of the lecture. His eyes kept darting to the clock overhead in anticipation of the upcoming lunch break. At least then he'd be able to get a good look at Haruka.

The note was tossed back to Makoto.

[i'm fine]

No explanation about what happened? Even on paper, it wasn't difficult for Makoto to pick up on the tone. Haru was transparent when it came to this kind of stuff. He probably knew it too. It took every ounce of self control Makoto had to not turn around. Instead, he could hear Haru's hands compulsively brushing against each other. He could picture how the boy always had his left leg behind his right, and his eyes curiously gazing out the window not listening to the lecture either. One again, the teacher's words began to fade away.

That was until the lunch bell rang.

Makoto immediately turned around but to his surprise, Haru was already walking out the door.

"Haru-chan! Hold on!" Makoto cried, running to the back of class to get his lunch. By the time he caught up, Haru was already on the roof taking up his usual place by the door.

"Haru-chan..."

"Not -chan," Haru murmured. He had a blank notebook open in his lap was was sketching something. It wasn't a normal thing for Haru to openly draw during school.

"Haru... where's your lunch?" Makoto watched Haru visibly flinch at the question.

"Don't have one."

"Eh? You should have said something sooner!" Makoto tried to cover cheerfully, starting to ration off his lunch without any question.

"You don't have to-"

"Don't worry about it! I share with my siblings all the time, so it's fine!" Makoto smiled. Still with some hesitation, Haru picked at what was offered to him.

It was just now that Makoto noticed Haru's lowered guard, and only now was he close enough to see the slight discoloring near Haru's cheek.

He felt his stomach sink.

"What's that?" he was almost too afraid to hear the answer, pointing to his cheek. Up until now this was only a lingering fear in the back of his head. As far as Makoto knew, this boundary was never crossed. He didn't want this to become an actual possibility. But Haru's eyes widened noticeably. He swore it wasn't visible this morning. And it was useless to deny its existence now that Makoto noticed it.

"It's... cover up," Haru bit his lip, slightly embarrassed.

"What for...?" Makoto already knew the answer to the question he wished he didn't have to ask. Haru took a deep breath.

"T-This morning... my parents were fighting and it looked like," he paused, eyes shifting around nervously making sure that nobody else was nearby, "it looks like he was gonna hit mom. I usually stay out of their fights but he had his arm raised and everything so..."

Haru paused again, eyes meeting Makoto's worried gaze.

"I pushed him away and..." he looked away when he felt his eyes quickly welling. Makoto could hear the break in Haru's voice, it was more painful to hear than any broken glass in the night. More painful than watching Haru close himself off from the world. More painful than seeing his walls built up higher.

This wasn't right.

"He hit you, didn't he?" Makoto whispered, the thought along leaving him unable to finish his lunch.

"Yeah... I was asking for it though." Haru admit quietly.

"No! No you weren't, don't enable him! You were protecting your mom.. you-" Makoto bit his lip.

_This isn't any of your business._

_Don't get involved._

_Just avoid the topic._

"You don't deserve any of this!" Makoto shouted over the voices in his head. Haru was startled, it was a rare sight to see Makoto get riled up over anything, and even so, he felt the immediate warmth that filled his chest when he was reminded that no matter what would happen or who might try to push him down, Makoto would stand beside him. Makoto would always offer his hand out to him.

"It's okay, Makoto. It's just been difficult since my grandmother passed," Haru continued, "She used to keep the two civil. And now it's just an all out war whenever they like. Although... I'm pretty sure mom is going to leave..."

What does that mean? Does that mean Haru would be left with his dad?

"Are you okay with that?" Makoto asked, putting away the remainders of his lunch.

Haru shrugged. He feels like he's spoken enough for the time being, just thinking about it was exhausting. They had swim practice later anyway, Haru felt it was better to conserve his energy, even though the answer to Makoto's question rang loudly in his head. Of course he wasn't okay with it. How could he even be in the same room as someone like that? Haru inched closer to Makoto and let his body slump against him, head resting on the broad shoulder.

"Haru..."

The boy's eyes were closed. Makoto was shocked that it was possible for him to look so at peace. So he didn't say a word when his green eyes settled on the discolored skin under Haru's sleeve. He didn't say anything when he leaned closer to his cheek and noticed just how extensive the bruising was. Haru's shallow breaths were barely audible over the wind, and for the first time, Makoto was truly thankful that a place where they could relax existed. A place where he could still his thoughts and calm his spirit. And the same goes for Haru. One vibrant blue eye peeked open.

"Let's go to the swim club early today, can you skip your after school duties?"

_Same old escape._

"Sure."

* * *

_Next chapter is the time skip to their current age. So no more little scared bbys. 3 ...for now at least. Reviews would be really great. Please leave those. 3_


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